A man said to the Prophet (PBUH), “Counsel me,” so he (PBUH) said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (PBUH) said, “Do not become angry. (in al-bukhari)
I have always been mesmerised by this piece of advice as I always wondered, how does one not become angry?
Anger is defined as (Merram-Webster) a strong feeling of displeasure, so how can we not become “strongly displeased” when there are many many situations in our lives that trigger this intense feeling?
I guess it is about breaking down this advice into the outer action of anger and the inner feeling of anger and the more we can control our inner feelings, the more we can control our outer actions when it comes to anger.
When I think back about when I have been the most angry, I can recall being angry when feeling resentful from not asserting my boundaries or feeling unheard when I try to express my needs and they are ignored or not acknowledged.
So going back to the prophet’s (pbuh) advice, the more we learn to assert our boundaries with excellence seeking a win-win and the more we practice patience by accepting that we cannot control others but we can seek salvation from god, then we can control and avoid anger.
May god help us work on ourselves not just in these blessed days, but all days until the next Ramadan and beyond.
Photo by Tomasz Sroka on unsplash.