There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We’d be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think ‘it will be okay if it can just be like this forever’ but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever. – Nina LaCour
Can you relate to today’s quote? I certainly can.
Just when we think we can handle something challenging, something happens that blatantly shouts NOOOOOOOO.
As nothin in our lives are coincidental, I also happen to come across a talk about sadness blending it component so faith as well … and these are the tips that I thought I would share in this post for your benefit.
- Know that sadness will happen and even when good things happen, tough challenges will come up for this is life … life is a series of ups and downs … a series of thankfulness and patience … a series of joy and sadness … don’t be surprised
- Accept sadness, don’t fight it and just admit to yourself that you are sad and that is a right you have and let it be.
- Don’t befriend sadness even it is part of life. Move towards what is opposite to sadness … positive friends, positive environments, positive clothing, positive actions trying to get out of the “sad” situation
- Wait until the end … don’t assume the story has ended there especially when you have been unfairly treated or wronged as the root of your sadness. What goes around comes around even if we are not able to see it.
Life is full of sad moments … no one has been spared of sad moments, the key is to not befriend it, not complain about it, not to let it get into your heart.
Love life, live right and do good … and even if you think you are OK and sadness comes around again, it is OK … it is for a good reason.
You will be fine … I promise because god has promised we will be OK if our hearts are in a state of goodness.
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He foresaw my every fall, my every sin, my every backsliding; yet, nevertheless, fixed His heart upon me. ― Arthur W. Pink
As we start the last third of this blessed month, I think of god’s mercy and love that enters our hearts when all else seems dark around us.
I think of god’s fairness in giving us all a set of strengths and talents that help us live a meaningful and fulfilling life.
I think of god’s wisdom and knowledge that allows certain tribulations to take place yet gives us other matters that give us hope and positivity for the future.
I think of god’s kindness that no matter how long we take to count our many blessings, we would never feel like we captured them all.
I think of god’s beauty as I look around and see the beautiful flowers, the magnificent skies, the chirping of the birds and the many beauty colors and designs they have together with the butterflies.
I think of god’s forgiveness as no matter how far we go and how much we divert from doing good in this world, god is always ready for us to come back and live our best lives for ourselves and for others as well.
With an open heart and an open mind, I ask god to uplift us all and give us yet the greatest days ahead with blessings, love and peace of mind and heart.
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Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. – Steve Jobs
We all know the state of the world these days, what we didn’t need is another tragedy. We woke up to the story of a burning building in London where many are believed to be in critical state or have moved on from this life. May those who have left their families and loved ones behind rest in peace.
What it did get me thinking about is how something like this awakens something in one’s soul that tackles despair…we have a limited time on earth and if it was our turn tomorrow, what have we left behind?
A good reputation? Helpful advice? Some charity? Knowledge? Anger? Materialistic behavior? Shallow advice? Envy? Greed?
We are what we leave behind … and we leave behind our words, our money, our work, our families, and our friendships … so are they in the condition we would like to leave it in?
We might not achieve what we hope to achieve but at least we can try and people know we tried.
It is time … it is time to be free of fears and expectations that are unjustified.
It is time … to go after what we want and share it with others.
It is time … to enjoy each other’s time while we still can.
It is time … to help those in need in whatever way we can.
It is time … to choose our words carefully.
It is time … to commit to excellence in whatever we set our minds to.
It is time …
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Everything in moderation, and there’s a perfect balance in this life if we can find it. – Ryan Robbins
Susan Jeffers’, in Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, presents a model for one’s “whole life” (p. 139). It has 9 boxes covering different facets in one’s life as opposed to one or two aspects that if gone, sends one on a downward spiral towards depression, sadness or despair.
Moderation, to me, is having a balanced life in different aspects. We may not be perfect in each sphere, but we are balanced. Being extreme is about putting our eggs in one basket be it work, relationship, kids, friends etc… without taking other spheres into account.
So when we are not where we want to be at work, we look at the other areas to provide balance until we are satisfied with work again, and so forth. So the key is also to have the right “spheres” within our lives that together, give us a balanced and satisfactory life.
I ask god, in this blessed month, to help us identify the different spheres of focus in our lives and help us live our life in moderation practicing patience when things don’t seem* to be good and practicing gratitude when things seem* to go well.
* sometimes we label things good or bad, but in reality, only outcomes can be assessed good or bad.
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Such is life and life is such and after all it isn’t much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse. – Norman Wisdom
One very effective way around feelings of despair is the power of imagination … imaging how different and worse things could be that brings us back to the circle of thankfulness and satisfaction with self, society and god.
I know, this might sound like a passive approach to positivity and change but the truth is that it cannot be ignored because yes, things could be much much much worse and our current situation can become much much much worse in a split second.
Take one moment, and imagine just one aspect that could be worse … believe me, your feelings of desperation will switch, even if temporarily or momentarily, to feelings of thankfulness.
There are so many negative things in our world today. Thank god for our safety. Thank god for clean water. Thank god for food. Thank god for a roof over our heads. Thank god for decent health to move around. Thanks to god always.
So again, why are we sad? It really could be much much worse.
I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be. Joyce Meyer
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You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. – Brian Tracy
I spoke about destiny in an earlier post, in a larger sense, it is about letting go of events and matters in our lives that we cannot control.
Whether it is a child who is adamant about disrespecting, or a person determined to bring negativity to others, or natural disasters or acts of war, or even a bankrupted employer, these are all matters that we cannot control whatsoever.
What we can control however, is how we respond to them and more specifically, responding assertively to events out of our reach or influence.
The first step is to never blame oneself.
The second is to to recognize that just because a certain undesirable event is happening, it does not mean that I am a victim of it without any say in how I can reduce its impact on myself and my loved ones.
The third step is to seek the learning and the change that is meant to happen within me as a result of me experiencing or witnessing this event for nothing is by chance.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
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If there is no struggle, there is no progress. – Frederick Douglass
Despite what we may see in life, be it in person or in social media, everyone struggles … everyone.
Looking back at all my previous and current struggles, I find this to be true … our struggles are stimulated by either something in the future that we need to be prepared for both in knowledge and resilience or something we need to learn about ourselves in order to lead happier lives.
Struggling with a business sale, struggles in relationships, struggling at work, struggles in health, struggling in school, they all uncover traits within ourselves that we need to work on or prepare us for what is to come in the future.
The key is to treat these struggles as such, means to self-improvement and happiness and not let them set in our hearts in the form of despair.
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God will never give you anything you can’t handle, so don’t stress. – Kelly Clarkson
As we complete the first third of this blessed month, I can’t help but think of god’s role when it comes to despair.
In addition to god telling us in the various holy books that he is always with us and does not give us what we cannot bear, we only have to look closely to see this sign within ourselves.
Think of the most difficult times in your life when you thought you were never going to be able to “make it through” or get out of a situation, have you noticed that you always do? Have you noticed that when you look back you think, “I had everything I needed to get through this one”?
God is always here and he is always listening to us and he knows us better than we know ourselves. Knowing that gives me comfort that there is no need to despair, we just need faith that …
this too shall pass.
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What’s meant to be will always find a way – Trisha Yearwood
Before you continue reading, let me set the foundation of this post, we each have a destiny pre-ordained for us in that it includes what will and will not come our way during our lifetimes. If you don’t believe in destiny, this post is not for you.
Definitely one of the most powerful realizations that neutralizes feelings of despair is remembering that we all have a destiny. While we have the freedom to make decisions, the events that befall us are meant to befall us. The events that miss us, are meant to miss us.
No one in the world can expose us to what we are not meant to be exposed to. Similarly, no one in the world can protect us from what we are meant to be exposed to. So what is the best option to take? Just accept it and think about what you can do to reduce the negative effects and boost the positive ones.
You are meant to not be generating an income at this time. However, you are meant to boost your skills for an upcoming opportunity that will provide you with an income you never dreamed of.
You are meant to not have perfect health. However, you are meant to work with it and lean new ways to deal with it that will help others in the future be it in the form of advice or book because you have all the skills to do that.
You are meant to not feel stable in either your job or place of living. However, you are meant to discover a new job and a new place of living because you will be provided with opportunities to be the best that you can be.
Destiny … accept it, deal with it, and keep moving, no need to despair.
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Talking with a friend is nothing else but thinking aloud – Jonathan Addison
From experience, I would say that a large portion of our worries and causes of despair can be significantly reduced by one small action, talking with a friend.
In the past, I have experienced times when excessive worries could have been avoided by simply getting a different perspective from someone we respect and trust to have our best interests at heart. Albeit, it takes effort to first admit that we are worried and to then be open about it with a friend without the fear of sounding naive, silly or idealistic.
While we have other means of sharing our worries through social media and alternative communication channels, none of these approaches can ever provide us with the immediate comfort and interaction needed to reduce feelings of despair if at least, to hear a voice on the other end or meet someone who can say “I understand how you might feel”.
I ask god in this blessed month to bless us with good friends who have the time to hear what we have to say and have the patience to advise us whenever we need it. Prior to that however, I ask god to give us the courage to stand up and ask others to listen.
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