27 Ramadan 2017: A Source of Despair from Within (2 of 2)

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself. ― Harvey Fierstein

As a follow-on to my previous post about sources of despair that are form within, the second one is not being who you are.

By not being who you are, you are denying yourself tasks that you feel closely align with your strengths. By not being who you are, you are denying yourself a long term dream and goal that is befitting to how you are meant to make an impact in the limited time you have on earth. By not being who you are, you are not receiving words of encouragement and support from those who truly care about your well-being and success.

This causes one to despair because one often finds themselves uncomfortable and restless for reasons that may not be clear leading to underachievement, productivity and personal satisfaction.

So, be who you are. Speak up. Hang out with people who are giving. Dream big and dream far.

In whatever job or situation you are in, actively work on moving into something that more closely aligns with your god-given strengths and don’t let external factors or circumstances make you give up on that. These circumstances may delay your plans, but don’t give up on them!

 

Image courtesy of Danilo Rizzuti at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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26 Ramadan 2017: A Source of Despair from Within (1 of 2)

It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are. ― Roy Disney

It is easier to naturally fall back onto an external reason as to why we despair, and we often forget that sometimes it is from within.

Besides generally engaging in negative internal dialogue leading to despair, there are two other internal sources of despair, one of which is not sticking to your values when making decisions or when faced with various questions and challenges in life.

Why does it lead to despair?

Because not sticking to your values means that you are making a decision you don’t want to make, and that leads to despair as you live out a decision you did not want.

However, while we aim to stay strong and stick to our values, the reality is that we may slip sometimes, so how can we avoid despair?

By remembering that even our wrong decisions happen for a reason and besides working hard to reverse such decisions or related consequences, what we experience is in our destiny and will eventually make us better people.

We learn, and we move on.

Sometimes it takes a wrong turn to get you to the right place.― Mandy Hale

 

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

24 Ramadan 2017: Don’t Wait … Just Start

Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. – George Herbert

How many times have we found ourselves within a very busy period of time at work or in life with parents or with children or with limited time or money to actually do what we want. In what we want, I am talking about things that our hearts and minds literally shout for within ourselves but we try to ignore them because we “can’t” and we don’t see a “way”.

The truth is, we think we won’t be busy tomorrow and we can get started then or we think our parents or kids will not need much of our time tomorrow or we will have more money and and and. That might be true but the truth is that these are all priorities in our lives and will not stop or go away.

Our parents, our children, our work, our money and any other resources or blessings god has given to us, they are all a priority and we must be committed to them, but there is a calling and one must respond to that calling without delay with whatever we have access to today.

We just have to start and see where it takes us from there without any expectations.

This post is a call to recognize, listen and respond to the calling, you never know, maybe the calling is today because it is critical I take action today for success tomorrow as opposed to delaying things.

Start moving … even if slowly, start, you will always have an excuse, might as well start today.

 

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

19 Ramadan 2017: It is time …

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. – Steve Jobs

We all know the state of the world these days, what we didn’t need is another tragedy. We woke up to the story of a burning building in London where many are believed to be in critical state or have moved on from this life. May those who have left their families and loved ones behind rest in peace.

What it did get me thinking about is how something like this awakens something in one’s soul that tackles despair…we have a limited time on earth and if it was our turn tomorrow, what have we left behind?

A good reputation? Helpful advice? Some charity? Knowledge? Anger? Materialistic behavior? Shallow advice? Envy? Greed?

We are what we leave behind … and we leave behind our words, our money, our work, our families, and our friendships … so are they in the condition we would like to leave it in?

We might not achieve what we hope to achieve but at least we can try and people know we tried.

It is time … it is time to be free of fears and expectations that are unjustified.

It is time … to go after what we want and share it with others.

It is time … to enjoy each other’s time while we still can.

It is time … to help those in need in whatever way we can.

It is time … to choose our words carefully.

It is time … to commit to excellence in whatever we set our minds to.

It is time …

 

 

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

16 Ramadan 2017: The Real You

Starve the ego, feed the soul – Unknown

As we approach the last days of Ramadan, it is worth looking back at the last 16 days and use the next couple of days to prepare for what it is we want, we hope, and we seek for the next year and beyond.

The last 10 days are special because those who fast this month believe that there is one special night that is bestowed on people who are genuine in their actions of worship, love and charity bringing great blessings with it where angels surround earth, the skies and the heavens above. It is also in this special night that our destinies for the next year are revealed, may they be great.

Reflection is key to this preparation as we have had 16 days to really see who we really are as fasting and the fasting month expose our souls in ways that are often more challenging day to day as we are busy at work, home, friends, and life more generally.

How were you with people? Did you gossip? Did you hurt someone with your words or actions?

How did you feel about people? Envious? Hoping for them what you hope for yourself?

How were you with your family? Your children? Were you angry? Were you kind and merciful?

How were you with money? Did you waste it? Did you share it with others through gifts and generosity?

How were you with work? Did you complete tasks with excellence?

How were you with god? Did you seek forgiveness for the *not so proud* things you did? Did you ask for all the things you want?

Ramadan is not about limiting food and drink, ramadan is about seeing who we truly are and working on what needs to improve and thanking god for the lovely qualities we have.

 

 

Image courtesy of dan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

15 Ramadan 2017: Control

You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. – Brian Tracy

I spoke about destiny in an earlier post, in a larger sense, it is about letting go of events and matters in our lives that we cannot control.

Whether it is a child who is adamant about disrespecting, or a person determined to bring negativity to others, or natural disasters or acts of war, or even a bankrupted employer, these are all matters that we cannot control whatsoever.

What we can control however, is how we respond to them and more specifically, responding assertively to events out of our reach or influence.

The first step is to never blame oneself.

The second is to to recognize that just because a certain undesirable event is happening,  it does not mean that I am a victim of it without any say in how I can reduce its impact on myself and my loved ones.

The third step is to seek the learning and the change that is meant to happen within me as a result of me experiencing or witnessing this event for nothing is by chance.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Reinhold Niebuhr

 

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4 Ramadan 2017: Keep Going

Does anything in nature despair except man? An animal with a foot caught in a trap does not seem to despair. It is too busy trying to survive. It is all closed in, to a kind of still, intense waiting. Is this a key? Keep busy with survival. Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go. – May Sarton

If we accept the nature of life, we accept that there will always be low and challenging moments to deal with. What I really liked about this quote though is that it eloquently covers what conscious “action” could be taking place in such moments.

Go on living and wait for such times to pass.

Simply continuing to go about living our lives; eating, drinking, chores, work and focusing on those, we can simply outlive the challenging moments. I am not advocating passive behaviors to conflict and difficulty but a big part of dealing with challenging situations sometimes involves waiting and reacting simply to what requires our immediate action, especially when it comes to other people’s rights, and not let these moments consume our lives.

“This too shall pass”

 

Image courtesy of Fred Pinheiro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

29 Ramadan 2016: Go through it

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

RLWhatever the fear is … whatever you worry about … whatever fears that others try to push on us … let us go through it.

I originally wanted to say that we should try overcome it or ignore it or look beyond it but in fact, I think going through it, i.e. recognizing it, analyzing it, choosing a position and acting to dispel the fear within ourselves, is the most effective way forward for humanity.

It is the only way that helps us see truth from lies and dispel strategies to control likes and dislikes to freedom to experience the beautiful aspects of life that fear rips away from us.

Today … I ask god … in the last blessed night of this glorious month, to help us recognize our fears and see them as fears and not as truths. I ask god to help us go through these fears without letting them stop us from living the best life we can.

 
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / freedigitalphotos.net

 

26 Ramadan 2016: Always a Solution

Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it. – Niels Bohr

RLI always told my child that each and every problem had a solution and that there was no reason to feel helpless or crippled.

Even when all doors seem closed, we still have the door of god and supplication to turn to, meaning that there is ALWAYS a solution.

Of course, somewhere in between, I experienced a period in time when I  forgot this fact and I slowly started to slip into helplessness, sadness, feeling difficulty, negativity, and anger.

Then again, I observe my child go through some of their challenges and as I spoke the same “lecture” … I was actually reminding myself of the truth.

Then as I changed perspectives again and decided to seek solutions when problems occur, the sense of positivity and energy is beyond wonder.

On this blessed night, I pray that all of you (and I ) are always reminded of the power we have been given in our own lives, seeking solutions within the problems we are faced with without feeling helpless nor hopeless.

 

 

Image courtesy of Naypong / freedigitalphotos.net

25 Ramadan 2016: True Reliance

The more you go with the flow of life and surrender the outcome to God, and the less you seek constant clarity, the more you will find that fabulous things start to show up in your life. ― Mandy Hale

RLHave you tried to let go? Like really let go?

I am not talking about not moving forward or problem solving or setting goals, I am talking about doing these things without holding on to a specific expectation or outcome … truly letting go.

I thought I did … until I realized I didn’t … and then when I really needed help … I did that, and the results were amazing.

How would you feel if you knew, you just knew, that everything was going to turn out exactly how it should and in the best outcome for you?

How would you feel if you knew that no outcome will be bad no matter how it looks?

How would you feel if you knew that if you really needed help, there was always – and I mean always – someone there?

Exactly! You feel invincible!

Nothing beats relying on god, and I mean truly relying on god where you take the steps necessary to complete a task to fulfill a dream without any hesitation or fear but at the same time knowing that no matter what steps you take, the outcome may be totally different but that it will always be better than what you had planned.

It is a tough one but it sure is worth a try … you will not be disappointed for he is always around, always seeing, always protecting and always providing.

 

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / freedigitalphotos.net